ascending, by endotherm

ascending

by endotherm

supported by

	/

Streaming + Download

Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.

Purchasable with gift card

name your price

1.	Eternal Suffering 02:46		buy track
2.	Mariana Trench 04:23	lyrics	buy track
This ocean of sorrow has dryed out (go down, go down, go down) There is no substance anymore (stay down, stay down, stay down) Everything is futile Everything is dead (now) Down this path to a dire existence Wasting time for this dream that can not be Down this path to a dire existence I’m in a cemetery with a shovel in my hand (go down, go down, go down) There will be no cure (stay down, stay down, stay down) This flattened line is not volatile Down this path to a dire existence Wasting time for this dream that can not be Down this path to a dire existence I’m in a cemetery with a shovel in my hand Down this path to a dire existence Wasting time for this dream that can not be Down this path to a dire existence I’m in a cemetery with a shovel in my hand
3.	At Least I Die 04:06	lyrics	buy track
I am so sick of this state of mine So i embrace it face it this time Don’t you dare to judge me At least its something i can grip when i can't hold on to anything else At least its something i can feel when no other feeling sees the light of day This fragile shell surounding me like a blanket in a hole of dirt What nothing else is giving me let‘s me float above it all I push you away from me You will not enter my space Now it‘s time to face my fears Take this chance to reappear Cause soon enough i will fall back and run away to my shelter At least its something i can grip when i can't hold on to anything else At least its something i can feel when no other feeling sees the light of day I push you away from me You will not enter my space Now it‘s time to face my fears Take this chance to reappear Cause soon enough i will fall back and run away to my shelter At least its something i can grip when i can't hold on to anything else At least its something i can feel when i almost feel dead inside At least it‘s something no one else will ever have the will to understand At least i die At least i die on my own terms.
4.	Collapsing Into Nothingness 03:10	lyrics	buy track
Leave, leave me alone Just, leave me alone I look right through you at the wall I want to be at peace I implode inward in this spirit that is now taking over Space and time collide in unison (by a nanosecond) warps into everything, collapsing into nothingness Leave, leave me alone Just, leave me alone I‘m forced to look through this stereoscope at those abstract images They disturb me With this pantoscopic tilt They lead me I am befalling into this meditation Leave, leave me alone Just, leave me alone I hide in plain sight I go where you can‘t find me Space and time collide in unison (by a nanosecond) warps into everything collapsing into nothingness
5.	Deliberate Self Harm 05:20	lyrics	buy track
I sit here at the table Those distractions standing right in front of me They kind of comfort me, but still there is a hole Nobody‘s watching Nobody even cares This room is full of emptiness The air is thin and cold This feeling is arising This feeling i can‘t control It leeds me to this solution I gotta let it out No I don‘t want to be alone I feel sick The only way out of here is to cut myself So im reaching for the blade Let it slit I‘m searching for something that loves and controls me Nothing in here can make me happy The outside world is laughing at me Theres only this sound and this voice And it leads me to where the river will run Oh and it will run Just give me something that makes me feel like i‘m alive No I dont want to be alone I feel sick The only way out of here is to cut myself So im reaching for the blade Let it slit I‘m searching for something that loves and controls me And then when i wake up Nothing has changed I regret the things i‘ve done This feeling i miss so dearly is gone again And then when the sun goes down it begins again
6.	Methylphenidate 05:20	lyrics	buy track
Where did i go wrong? I don’t know where There are knives in my sight I pull them out I’m so desperate Waiting for a signal to shine It’s so far away (so i can’t reach it) So deep hidden (so i can’t find it) It moves away from me I just can't get a grip It’s so far away (so i can’t reach it) it’s so deep hidden (so i can’t find it) It moves away from me It seems almost gone Where do you draw it from? Where is the well? Where do I have do go to find it? What do I have to do to earn it? There’s a place i want to be but my face is turning black It’s so far away (so i can’t reach it) So deep hidden (so i can’t find it) It never stays with me It only fades to dust It’s so far away (so i can’t reach it) So deep hidden (so i can’t find it) No matter how i try It lies beyond myself It’s so far away (so i can’t reach it) So deep hidden (so i can’t find it) It moves away from me It seems almost gone Where do you draw it from? Where is the well? Where do I have do go to find it? What do I have to do to earn it? There’s a place i want to be but my face is turning black It slipped again Where do you draw it from? Where is the well? Where do I have do go to find it? What do I have to do to earn it? There’s a place i want to be but my face is turning black I am someone else than the one you see in my face Where did i go wrong I don’t even want to know Carry on this life without a single breath Carry on this life until, until my death
7.	Parasite 05:33	lyrics	buy track
Closed off and ignored No movement is allowed Isolated and kept still Only fed with poison Locked into this room with no light and no air These voices are all that is left In this prison which was created for this vulnerable entity Ockham's razor will pave the way to freedom by cutting the flesh open in this involuntary caesarean delivery Elopement (into the night) Searching (for a home) Wandering (deaf and blind) Emptiness (deep inside) Closed off and ignored No movement is allowed Isolated and kept still Only fed with poison A child in the womb is nourished by it‘s host eating what is served to survive (to survive) Unloved and abandoned Delivered and returned Desire and regret The blessing became this curse Closed off and ignored No movement is allowed Isolated and kept still Only fed with poison
8.	Down The Road (Not Across) 03:33	lyrics	buy track
Kill yourself now With an expectation of nothing i'm stuck in the consequence In the desert lies a truth, the truth of my demise When i go to see the light my eyes burn into my brain Leaving ashes of blindness behind When the forrest shows it's leaves i leave my guilt behind But this exercise can not be executed This door can not be unlocked The channel of self-acceptance is fully closed and until i awake forever shut down Now i see the waste of flesh in me Rape me so i feel life run through me Nothing stops the pain Hide away the shame Encircled by their name Loveshed is the grain Everytime that i die, just hold me and don't bury me when i die in this failure Now i see the waste of flesh in me Don't you, don't you look at me! Nothing stops the pain Hide away the shame Encircled by their name Loveshed is the grain Everytime that i die, just hold me and don‘t bury me when i die in this shelter of mine It is time Everytime that i cry, just hold me Just don't bury me when i die in this body of mine
9.	Fairy Being 03:42	lyrics	buy track
I lost my place I lost my faith Rain and wind are coming close Is this what i chose I need, i need something I need someone to forget myself I fucking hate you I fucking love you You do not show me my way I fucking hate this Please don’t you dare to throw me away You’re my saviour You have to be Fuck, i am so obsessed with you You’re my saviour I hope you are Will you be my fairy being I need a break I need to escape I’m running towards the end of the world One with you, you are one You’re my saviour You have to be Fuck, i am so obsessed with you You’re my saviour I hope you are Will you be my fairy being One with you, you are one
10.	Overflow Of Generic Behaviour 03:52	lyrics	buy track
Nothing, nothing has changed Nothing, never will ‘till i fucking awake This state of aggregation transitioned it‘s phase I‘m dying of thirst There is no more water left It all boiled into tedium but it ain‘t fueling this machine Only wears it down Never wears a crown Nothing, nothing has changed Nothing, never will Till i fucking awake out of this nightmare that is self created but more so by all of you people, who don‘t care for the weak Treat me like a ghost Project your failures with no understanding I hate myself for hating myself So i abandon this malfunction I leave this fucker alone To relieve myself from myself Destroy this image in the mirror to see what i will become I want to forget I need to forget I will, i will change now
11.	Fendouzhe 08:15	lyrics	buy track
I: Bathyscaphe (The Preperation) Realign my fractured sight Behind this fog is where i walk Redefine forgotten lines The architect of my soul am i I climb this fucking mountain in front of me Rearrange abortive thoughts These chemicals are put in order Reenforce this crashing plane At the bottom is where i start again II: Fendouzhe (The Final Battle) I enter this battlefield ahead Deep under water is where i slay the beast I won't back down, i won't let you win Deep in my soul is where i draw strength and power I will fight the enemy inside There is no more run and hide, run and hide No more dull excuses You will be dead and gone forever now I will fight the enemy inside There is no more run and hide, run and hide Slowly changing, slowly changing I rip off your flesh and strip you to your bones I puke out your guts and leave you bare and alone Running circles got me nowhere Chasing demons Seeking changes is the answer Finding freedom Now i am finally free of this vicious spell Now i leave my past behind Stranded at this beautiful shore Now i'm ready to change Take responsability Now i'm willing to change Time to change is now Time to change is now
12.	Eternal Salvation 05:55		buy track

credits

released October 3, 2023

Vocal Recording, Mix and Master by Johannes Rupp mixing & music production www.johannesrupp.de

Artwork by MXM Rock-Art (@mxm.rock_art)